Friday Funday: The secret to relationship happiness


Loving-kindness meditation helps relationships!

pdp-manIf you’ve ever gotten relationship advice, you’ve probably heard plenty of don’ts. Don’t nag. Don’t stonewall. Don’t blame. Don’t leave the toilet seat up, don’t squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle, and definitely don’t assume he’s that into you when he’s just not. Well, don’t listen.

The happiest couples focus on do’s, not don’ts. Rather than just steering clear of negative interactions, they actively work to build positivity into their relationships. They show what psychologists call an “approach orientation,” moving toward what’s good, rather than moving away from what’s bad.

Traditionally, couples research has focused more on minimizing negatives (arguments, emotional distance, infidelity) than on maximizing positives. But a new wave of research is changing all that. Positivity-oriented psychologists find that maintaining a favorable balance of positive to negative emotions helps people—and relationships—thrive. “We’ve already learned about all the toxic stuff that harms relationships,” says psychologist Dacher Keltner, author of Born to Be Good. “There’s a whole new science of how to build in good emotions.” read more

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